Loud and Proud

Have u talked to him about speaking quieter to be considerate for the other players? Some people are passionate and aren't aware of their issues.

ino ya I talked with her, sev'ral timez, and each time it definitely helped for the start of each session but as you say eventually passion takes over and volumes are raised.

Vulash thanks for the advice, I will definitely try that out. Usually though it was another character/player giving out tactical commands, it was typically more along the lines of, "this thing reminded me of this funny story, so now I need to tell everybody this 5-10 minute story." So while it did typically happen in combat, because between turns she had a lot of time to be reminded of funny things, it wasn't necessarily about the combat.

While I am not necessarily a quiet person, I tend to be retiring in the presence of big personalities like you're describing. I also live with two such personalities in the forms of my 10 and 12yo sons. "Why are you shouting?" is a daily dinner table question. With them, I try to refocus and pull them into reasonable conversation. Not all that applicable for your scenario.

At my own table, I deal with a lot of sarcastic table commentary. We have three players that like to talk smack. One of them created a character built around smack talking, so he's found an outlet, but the table talk still gets out of hand at least once every session. It gets so bad that they will talk over things I am saying, and neither they, nor the other players at the table, will know what's going on. We have short sessions (only 2-3 hours) so I like to keep everyone on task.

Here's what I do in response to these guys when they get going:

1. Passive aggressive response: I'll just stop the game and stare at them with my hand folded in front of me. I use this one when I'm feeling tolerant and indulgent; sometimes they're really funny! They usually realize after a couple minutes that I've made their "side conversation" the focus of the table, and will ask me what's happening in the game.

2. The naughty kids approach: Sometimes, we just need to keep things moving. In this case, rather than letting them get it out of their system, I'll get their attention and ask that we focus on the game. To do this I'll usually interject with a gesture and a "Hey, guys, can we focus on the game right now?" They usually shape up.

I don't know how helpful those items are, but they are how I deal with my version of this issue. For yourself, there's a few things that may help:

1. Increase the pace of combat and/or involve others in it more. Considering this happens when your player gets bored (not their turn in combat), try to minimize this. There's a chance, especially if others join in their conversations, that this player is not the only one bored at the table. Increase the speed and pressure of combat; if somebody takes too long to state their actions, or needs a primer on the situation at the top of their turn because they weren't paying attention, tell them they forfeit their turn this round. I've been doing this at my table both to keep the table focused, and to keep combat feeling intense.

2. Talk to this player again before asking them to join the group. Explain your concerns honestly. Also explain that, when/if they get out of line, you're going to call them out in the moment. Warn them ahead of time that if they start distracting the group, you are going to speak up and say, "Can we save that story for another time? Tim needs to resolve his turn right now and John is next." Tell her that statements like this are a clue; a hint that she is taking the conversation away from the game. Let her know you are going to do this because you and the others are there to play a game. Socializing is good and fun and part of the table top experience, but everyone is there for the game. Let her know that, if she can't take the hints, and becomes a distraction at the table, you'll have to ask her to leave the game. If you do this right, and you are friends with this person, it should go over well. I've found that frank conversation and calling out situations can do wonders for troublesome table dynamics.

In general, take a look at your own pacing. How do you resolve initiative? How long does it take on average? How long does each character's turn take? How long does your turn (NPCs) take? How much time is spent looking up rules? If if an average turn in combat takes longer than 30 seconds to a minute, its too long. How can you shorten that time? Remember that combat should be the most intense part of the game. Its really the only place where the mechanics matter and where the PCs lives are threatened (usually). Embrace that and make it feel intense and scary. If a player was on their phone, and not paying attention to the point where they have no idea what to do on their turn, skip 'em. They'll get mad and I guarantee they will start paying attention!

If you're going to increase the pace and tension, a warning to the table can't hurt. That way they don't feel blindsided by your sudden shift of table demeanor.

Good luck!

I think problems like this occur when players look at sessions like social events instead of specifically gaming events.

To speed up interaction, keep the group as small as u can run them. Also, try to interact more with players by asking them what they see vs telling them. The end of the improvisation episode is a good example. Use that part of her brain that wants to give input and focus her energy if you can.

Sadly, sometimes it just doesn't work out. There are some great gamers out there that unfortunately have game ending issues, like lack of discipline, attention, or punctuality. Sometimes it's best to just let certain players go.

I can tell you a few things I do personally to speed up combat. I'm used to playing (when I was younger) with pretty hardcore groups. My current group is much more relaxed. They chat more, there are sometimes kids that have to be put back to bed, and we don't play for very long. So sometimes I need to focus on speeding combat up just so we can finish an encounter, or to pull people back in. We have on player in particular that was getting distracted, and that hasn't been an issue lately. So I'll talk about what we did specifically at the end.

First of all, I take index cards and fold them so they stand up like a teepee and write numbers 1 through 10 on them in sharpie. When I do initiative I pass them around, and everyone places the number out in front of them prominently displayed. The NPCs I hang on my DM screen. This easily and quickly lets me, and everyone else know, who is next up. Tesla Ranger sent me some leather ones with the DM toolbox I'm excited to try out.

The second this, and I only do this when I feel the need to speed things up, or find people getting distracted. While someone is rolling and calculating - and especially if I'm sure that's all they're doing - I'll go ahead and look at the next person and tell them to be thinking about what they're going to do or if they're just attacking they can go ahead and roll. I don't do this too much because I don't like to make them so frantic that they're getting frustrated (casual group), but mixing it in does keep people focused and thinking. I also don't mind a little outside banter with the group because we are having fun, and it gives me time to think - but any large amount really takes away form the game.

One of the things we did specifically to rope things in is....teamwork. Our problem started with someone else DM'ing - so as a former DM when people got too far off track I'd stop chatting with them and just stare at the DM while he looked at me. When there was a lull in the conversation I'd just say "so what's going on?". Now that I'm DM'ing he does the same for me. So having other players help can keep all the "parenting" from coming from one person, and it lets everyone know that several people are eager to get back to the game. This allowed us to stay on topic without it coming across harshly.  There are actually 3 of us rotating DMing, and we're all the experienced players so we all help with this when it's appropriate.

Finally, I also talked to the guy before I started DMing. I expressed my frustrations (in a positive way) with his distractions while I was a player, and he talked to me about where they came from. I also presented it in a way as "What can I do now that I'm DM'ing to help keep you in the game?". He actually had some suggestions, and we've had no further issues. I'm not saying that this will always work, but luckily it did for us