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Post by joatmoniac on Aug 16, 2018 6:06:53 GMT
This week’s DMNastics exercise builds on DMB Episode 156: Bardic Knowledge with Kyle from BomBARDed. rorrik and I thought it would be fun to write some poems and songs to put in the mouths of bards in our campaigns. We’ve provided a list of titles and genres to roll or choose from, but also feel free to create your own titles and genres with your own poems or as a challenge to others to answer. Titles 1. Beneath the Waves 2. The Cloud Fortress 3. Giant and the Dragon 4. Bullettes of the World 5. The Fool and the Fish 6. The Top of the Sky 7. Cling To My Life 8. King Dalbin’s Greed 9. We Can Do This 10. The Yellow Rain 11. Just Say Hello 12. The Tree's Salute 13. Thunderhead 14. No Cows Allowed 15. If You Chance to Meet an Owlbear 16. When a Warlock Makes a Trade 17. Mother Dear 18. In the Saddle Again 19. Sparks Fly 20. The Last Hurrah! Genres 1. Humorous 2. Romantic (fairy tale) 3. Heroic 4. Historical 5. Didactic 6. Propaganda Let’s jump in and write some bard song! |
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bigdredwun
Commoner
Posts: 1 
Favorite D&D Class: Fighter
Favorite D&D Race: Goliath
Gender: Male
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Post by bigdredwun on Aug 16, 2018 7:49:49 GMT
When the dwarves march into town:
Steel they ply with hammer blows,
Gold and gems in sunlight show,
Iron clad boots do shake the ground,
When the dwarves march into town.
Beards well oiled,
In brass rings dressed,
Our ale reserves are sorely pressed,
Giants cower and orcs do frown,
When the dwarves march into town.
Masters of stone,
Both cut and lain,
Their fortresses are an army's bane,
Perfection they can and shall attain,
Our builders get a dressing down,
When the dwarves march into town.
When the dawrves are drawing close,
People hide things that they love the most,
Well known for sure, is dwarven greed,
Not for food or sturdy steed,
Beer and gold are what they need,
So stash your drink and jewels around,
When the dwarves march into town.
When the dwarves march into town,
and you wish to keep your crown,
A chest is best to place it in,
But don't bury it deep if you want to win.
There's only one place a dwarf won't look,
and you wont find it in any book.
To keep your things safe and to yourself,
From a dwarf, but not an elf,
Its quite simple really....
Put them on the top shelf!
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Post by dmcaleb on Aug 17, 2018 2:18:41 GMT
#13 Thunderhead
A poem written about a special lady over the mountains.
(You knew I couldn’t pass this prompt up the template is Country Road))
Thunderhead
Past Valhalla, West Of Angor, Blood Ridge Mountains, Snakevenom River
Life is bold there, bolder than their beasts,
But there’s one whose fiercer, making them a feast
Thunderhead, lets go raid in that place that’s afraid
Mighty warrior, mountain muscle, lets go raid, Thunderhead
All my memories gather round her, brutal lady, stranger to the water
Dark and dusty, painted with their blood, her footsteps were leadened, her voice a roaring flood
Thunderhead, lets go raid in that place that’s afraid
Mighty warrior, mountain muscle, lets go raid, Thunderhead
I hear her voice in the morning hour, she calls me, the horn’s echo reminds me of her rage far away
And marching down the road I get a feeling that I should have been raiding yesterday, yesterday
Thunderhead, lets go raid in that place that’s afraid
Mighty warrior, mountain muscle, lets go raid, Thunderhead
Thunderhead, lets go raid in that place that’s afraid
Mighty warrior, mountain muscle, lets go raid, Thunderhead
Let’s go raid now, Thunderhead
Let’s go raid now, Thunderhead
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bergdj
Commoner
Posts: 1
Favorite D&D Class: Paladin
Favorite D&D Race: Dragonborn
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Post by bergdj on Aug 17, 2018 22:05:56 GMT
King Dalbin's Greed:
Old King Dalbin was quite greedy,
learned a thief, rather sneaky.
Creeping past the grand throne,
he took some gold and stole Dalbin's expensive gemstones.
Never was caught, that cunning Dimitri.
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VerySleepyDM
Commoner
Posts: 2
Favorite D&D Class: Barbarian
Favorite D&D Race: Aarakocra
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Post by VerySleepyDM on Aug 21, 2018 3:12:43 GMT
12. The Trees Salute
Now, deep in the earth these roots uncoil
As hands sprawl'n down from cloud
Within the most enchanted soil
There weaves a mystic shroud
The oaken giants reach and crane
With gestures vast but mute
As wind whips through Silvanus' mane
Behold the Trees Salute
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captaindialup
Commoner
Posts: 19
Favorite D&D Class: Artificer
Favorite D&D Race: Kobold
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Post by captaindialup on Aug 22, 2018 5:54:11 GMT
In my head it comes of like a Irish drinking song about sloshing ale. Probably sung with a bunch of drunk adventuring types with a bard leading.
In the yellow rain
They tell tales of old
of dragons and maidens
and streams of gold
In the yellow rain
Where our mettle is found
where you drink and you sing
'til you kiss the ground
In the yellow rain
the grog's near done
We grab them dwarven lads
to brew a ton
In the yellow rain
the floor's real soft
It's quicker to sleep here
than to find my loft.
IN the yellow rain
I can't feel my face
I can't even remember
How I found this place
In the yellow rain
It's time to leave
The guards are here
and I heard they cleave
In the yellow rain
we'll drink again
and find ourselves
in the yellow rain.
I imagine more stances get thrown to fit different moods or even throwing in rumors but that's the gist of it.
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DM Ronan
Commoner
Posts: 1
Favorite D&D Class: Dungeon Master
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Post by DM Ronan on Aug 23, 2018 2:35:20 GMT
1. Beneath the Waves
5. Didactic
Oh far from all and near to none
Lies Kierandall without daughter or son
Sep'rated by leagues and shore
And made to wait upon his Lord
Thus so he waits beneath the waves
And hopes to God to be taken away
Underneath he must serve the tide
And Hopes to God to be taken aside
Kierandall good sailor was he
Yet not so wise a man he be
And so when great storm appeared
He stepped up on the deck and jeered
Thus so he waits beneath the waves
And hopes to God to be taken away
Underneath he must serve the tide
And Hopes to God to be taken aside
Upon the utterance of those mocking words
A great wave came and broke the boards
Kierandall the mate and crew
All found themselves beneath the blue
Thus so he waits beneath the waves
And hopes to God to be taken away
Underneath he will never die
Yet always will he serve the tide
(The tale of Captain Kierandall and how his arrogant words angered Liatomne Master of the Storm so much that he stole Kierandall from above to serve him, forever drowning, yet unable to die. A sailor must have the utmost respect for the sea else face the doom of Kierandall.)
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Post by DM Pax on Sept 13, 2018 7:29:48 GMT
Mother Dear
Less of a song, and more of a cautionary nursery rhyme to warn children to be home before dark. It tells a tale of a wicked hag known only as “Mother Dear”, and she feeds on children after dusk. There is some truth to the story, but most adults believe it to be simply a foolish rhyme to scare children.
Mother dear, mother dear,
They say your hut has feet.
Mother dear, mother dear,
They say children are what you eat.
Mother dear, mother dear,
They say you come at night.
Mother dear, mother dear,
Unless the door is bolted tight.
Mother dear, mother dear,
Do you eat their eyes?
Mother dear, mother dear,
Or do you feed them to the flies?
Mother dear, mother dear,
Do you eat their heart?
Mother dear, mother dear,
With your claws, their ribs you’ll surely part.
Mother dear, mother dear,
They say you like their screams.
Mother dear, mother dear,
Children are only safe if protected by a dream.
Mother dear, mother dear,
Your eyes are black with dread.
Mother dear, mother dear,
They say you can’t snatch them if they’re tucked in bed.
The twist is that “Mother Dear” is in actuality a powerful night hag, and her method of devouring children is by inflicting horrific nightmares from which they can not wake. While they struggle to wake, she feasts on their soul. To fully devour the pure soul of a child, it can take “Mother Dear” weeks to eat it entirely, and the child will become increasingly sick until their soul is consumed. Once the soul is devoured, the child’s body crumbles into dust.
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will
Commoner
Posts: 24
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Post by will on Sept 28, 2018 2:44:28 GMT
The Top of the Sky
When she was only summers three,
My daughter's eyes went skyward.
"The clouds are white," she said to me.
I waved her off and forward.
"We've much to do," I said to her.
Her eyes went dim and downward.
That day, we packed our bags and left,
Away from August's showers.
My daughter's eyes were black and blue,
I crouched and dabbed the blood.
"August's rain will catch us soon,
"Unless we find the sun.
"Never more your eyes will swell,
"Never will they run.
"He'll lose us soon," I warned her well.
"That August's vicious son."
No more we stopped, no breath to catch,
Along the road we fled.
My handkerchief clutched tight to breast,
All speckled bloody red.
My daughter wrapped in leather straps,
Her nose upon my head,
She slept upon my back quite well,
Not knowing she'd be dead.
I knew my only chance to start
Anew would lie with her.
When August rain came pounding down,
My broken bones had stirred.
If city guards and noblemen
Would never hear me speak,
The devils' ears would give relief
To August's bloody shriek.
Of course I turned her gaze away
From glorious clouds above.
It's not my nature to betray ...
But terror triumphs love.
She'll never see the clouds, the light,
The top of glorious sky.
With August's end, I'll win through spite.
But my daughter's sure to die.
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Post by dmcaleb on Oct 7, 2018 2:04:59 GMT
Prior joke post aside, here is a children’s rhyme I made for a hag in my game. The three sections were uncovered in intervals with the last being the big reveal. I hope you like it.
Rickety May
Oh what a day
My heart is rent in two
I need your help
His heart must melt
Can you give me a brew?
———
My dear small child
Love will run wild
Just wish upon the well
To gives me pow’r
To fill desire
Magic will quickly swell
———
But you don’t know
I am your foe
Your wish is mine to claim
You foolish child
Your wish defiled
Deceived by my acclaim
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Post by WinnieScrollwalker on Dec 3, 2018 16:02:46 GMT
I wanted to share the ballad I wrote on behalf of our bard (with his permission) for our OOTA game! I wrote a melody and piano accompaniment, too. This song is meant to instill hope in the deep gnomes of Blingdenstone.
The Ballad of Blingdenstone
Oh Blingdenstone, my wondrous home
The jewel of all the Underdark
A place that each and every gnome
Could hold within our little hearts
The vast and bustling city here
A busy parapet of hope
Our denizens, they held no fear
For they’d no miseries to cope
From tainted Menzoberranzen
The dark elves took their chase
They laid their daring, heartless siege
Against this sacred place
When all was lost, our homes destroyed
And nothing more to save
Retreating to the darkest void
Our city do we crave
Oh Blingdenstone, my wondrous home
Now ash and dust and smoke
The Svirfneblin still cling to you
A strong and clever folk
Our duty now remains as plain
As unworked bedrock lies
To turn the ruins of your name
To gems before our eyes
And though we know our task is great
And difficult in spirit
We sing our ode of woven fate
To walls that will never hear it
Oh Blingdenstone, my wondrous home
I’m yours if you will have me
To shine and gleam, our rebirth known
By all that is and will be
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Post by letterlost on Feb 9, 2020 3:51:53 GMT
4. Bullettes of the World. Genres: 6. Propaganda
(Slow, low, measured, and mysterious)
Monsters coming, they are all around
Look near or far, but they cannot be found
Monsters waiting in burrows under ground
Waiting until, your king is not around
They won’t consume your soul;
Your treasure troves are safe
What they want, are your bones, for - a - TAS-TY … SNACK!
The BULL-ETTES - of - the WORRR-LLDDD
(Brief instrumental interlude as we pick up the tempo, rapido)
There’s a fire deep inside
The Bullettes glowing eyes
Their mouths are open wide
For tasty meaty pies
When others flee in fear
From Bullettes ever near
Is that your heart you hear?
Galloping in fear?
The galloping is near
Your king is finally HERE!
(Instrumental climax. a short pause to catch your breath. then into a triumphant crescendo)
The KING’s crown is not made of gold
It’s formed of Bullettes bones of old
Wise, Cunning, and Bold; He is Mighty to behold
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wizzardofaus
Squire
Posts: 27
Favorite D&D Class: Kobold
Favorite D&D Race: Kobold
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Post by wizzardofaus on Aug 6, 2023 6:05:39 GMT
I once played a skeletal bard, Simulacrum Morendo, that went by the stage name Slim Reaper. I parodied a few songs and made some of my own so here you go.
Don't Fear Slim Reaper
(Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult)
All our times will come
Here, but now they're gone
Mortals, don't fear Slim Reaper
I was just bones, now I'm living again
(I want to be a bard)
Come on, mortals
(Don't fear Slim Reaper)
I can lend you a hand
(Don't fear Slim Reaper)
Though they might be bone dry
Baby, I'm your Skeleton
La, la la, la la
La, la la, la la
7 pieces of 8
Original Work about the party
Sit down with some ale
Let me tell you a tale.
8 questers together fighting for treasure
O'er flesh and fur and scale they prevail.
First is a devilish friend of mine
With unicorns shine
This kid is divine
Nothing can get in the way of his mood
It doesn't matter how rudely he's viewed
Then look next in line, a reptilian rage
You can not gauge
Its bounds when it is caged
Dont even bother to go for a heal
Run now, or you'll be a meal
Next is an arcanist of war
You can be sure
She knows the score
Lancing your meat, blood splatter
All of your armour don't matter, she'll shatter
You'll get a surprise
With next's disguise
Last thing you see is the whites of their eyes
Daggers slip gently between your ribs
Our wizardly friends will then call dibs
Big magic, small package
Carrying around some noble baggage
Two of a kind,
bones on the mind
The deathliest halfling, more when combined
With our resident hume
out of earth their friends will bloom
making their mark
spells in the dark
you may not like it but dont be a narc
Then view our master of battle,
You shouldn't rattle
Or you'll be cattle.
Daggers for teeth
Your neck is their sheath
That brings this tale to me
Undead and free
Performing for thee
Creeping it real, bones growing strong
Experiencing life to add to my songs
We'll give you a fright
At just our sight
Ware not though as we'll use all our might
Fight for you, protect you
As long as we get paid to
Monsters and mayhem are our bread and butter
Give us incentive and we'll make them sputter
Lose Thyself
(Lose yourself - Eminem)
Look
If ye had
One hit
Or one attack of opportunity
To seize all the magic you ever wanted
In one action
Would thee cast it
Or just hold the action?
Ye
Dead palms are ready, knees strong armoured already
Theres blood on some weapons its heavy, intestine spaghetti
Aint nervous and under the surface the rage is steady
Fireball casts and spell slots are dropping
Scrolls are popping, the enemies run
Devestation coming. The smoke is out
They choking now, bards joking now
Counterspell like NUP the caster's up
Spells breaking reality, like reverse gravity
Components material go
With verbals that you know, and somatic you show
Then back to the tavern though its no cavern
The music is jamming while ales you are slammin
Back to the grind again, dungeon crawl verily
Better go get that loot before some other adventurer
You better lose thyself in the magic the moment
You own it, you never want to let it go
If you only get one slot, dont miss your chance to show
Magic like this comes once an unlifetime.
The Obscene Oakenshields
Original Work about some NPCs we met
There once was a man name Dave
he always dug a beautiful grave
his brothers and him
always dug with a grin
showing the town they were brave
Kevin is Daves first brother
they have a lovely mother
I bet Im not wrong
she likes a big...song
and her assets can easily smother
Tim is the last of the three
He'll give you a smile for free
digs a great hole
when not grabbing his pole
not wanking, just having a pee
The Letting of Bloodtown
Original Work about a quest we undertook
Danger has risen again in our town
it stalks our avenues nightly
looking for those that it must ensnare
Good people, do not take it lightly
Though you're in no danger if your paths true
When deaths in the air, beware!
This danger returns to the town now and then
they set up a trap and call it a den
together they form to shuffle what's poor
a token so rich is flashed at a door
A symbol of death that thinks itself righteous
I pity their misguided view
the devils they seed come of their action
more danger to many of you
Innocents hurt and left in their wake
Ignored for all of their passion
This danger returns to the town now and then
they set up a trap and call it a den
together they form to shuffle what's poor
a token so rich is flashed at a door
The danger seems past but do not cheer
it will again arise
you'll all forget and call it all false
then act all surprised
I tell you now just keep your paths true
or end up losing your pulse.
This danger returns to the town now and then
they set up a trap and call it a den
together they form to shuffle what's poor
a token so riiiiich-
-is flashed at a door.
Fey-T of the 5ive
'Jack's Lament' - NBC Parody of some troubled times we encountered
There are few who can deny, at what they do Fey are the best
for their mischief is renowned far and wide.
When it comes to surprises on a moonlit night
they excel without even really trying
With the slightest little effort of their glamour charms
their trickster skills are at their peak
With a wave of their hand and a well placed spell
They have had the very strongest at their feet.
Yet round after round its the same routine
the turns moves on and my patience's thin
And I, Slim, the Instrumentalich
Have grown so tired of this old game thing
Oh somewhere deep inside of these bones
a worry that we'll never see home
They're watching out there in their high thrones
with power we have never quite known
A hag gives us fright, a devil of night
she scares us with a jump and a loud shout
Her looks are rather ****y but shes also just unlucky
as we beat her down and win our freedom out
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