DM-Nastics #130: Do Try This At Home

TLDR: a Zinga-Zang fruit preserved in troll mucus wrapped up safe and tight in a glass tube decorated in protective iron. This fruit, growing on the zip-zap tree which appear to be made out of solid light, is very rare and can usually only be found in the astral sea near astral pools to negative planes. The seed in the fruit’s center can be cultivated if fed a constant stream of negative energy.


On your 4th day towards everspring … the weather has turned for the worst. You can see a huge snowstorm coming in from the west.

Jim: I’m going to make a nature check … how much time do we have?

You can tell the storm is moving fast and will probably hit in less than an hour.

Amy: I think this is that snow hag we were warned about.

Dave: I’m going to make a perception check…

Amy: me to …

Jim, you also know from your nature check you wouldn’t reach Everspring until late afternoon even before the blizzard heading your way. Amy, you can see the blizzard, it covers most of the western horizon and is defiantly headed in your direction. Dave, you see the blizzard, but you also see a small thicket of a few trees and some brush growing up around a small hill just to the left of the path about 100 ft ahead of you.

…

Looking out over the blinding snow, you see the dark shadows of a blizzard continuing to move directly towards the small hill and thicket where your party is hastily making camp. Staring back, it almost looks like the storm is coming up the road towards Everspring, just as you are. Already you can hear its fierce wind beginning to howl.

“Dave, come on. Grab as much dead brush as you can, we’ve got to get this fire going. I don’t have the magic to keep it going through … that without a lot of wood.”

Still looking at the blizzard you step to the left as you grab a thicker branch sticking out of the side of the hill. Suddenly, as you fail your dex save, you find yourself falling into the snow, buried in it. The branch you were holding also gave way and it must have been larger then you thought, large, but light and cold.

“AHHH!” You panic and scream, thrashing left and right to get out of the deep hollow you sunk into at the base of a tree. Your two friends rush over to help. As they pull you out by your pauldrons, still tangled the twisting branch grabbed pulls out with you. Caught around your right arm and buckles on your side is a small frozen creature latched onto you, nearly as small as your brother was when you left home all those years ago. But it’s not your brother; it is dark and cold, glassy black eyes look past you and it shimmers with a poisonous green inner light. Grasping onto you, still wrapped around your arm, keeping you from reaching your sword. You start to scream, again.

Jim runs up and kicks it hard and solid, as only a dwarf can. It shatters, bits flying everywhere. It’s head flies towards Amy and she lets out a scream. Then it’s gone, all that’s left is the poisonous green glow emitting from a heavy glass tube wreathed in cold hard iron.

“What in Zamu’s name was that?”

“What is this? I mean, look at this.”

“Who cares, wrap it and pack it. Or did you forget the blizzard. Come on, this Hallow is the best we’ve got. Get all our stuff over here.”

…

Standing in the entry way to the massive library in Wenanger makes you uneasy. It’s so quiet and smells like a tomb. That weird static of magic is making the hair on the back of your neck and arms stand up, Amy and Jim poke at Jim’s beard as the hairs slowly rise. Finally, Andy comes down the stairs, silently gesturing for you and the others to follow him.

Back in Andy’s office, he lights two candles and slumps into the heavy padded chair behind his large desk. He looks tired.

“Master Amy, I greatly apologize for the delay.”

“It’s been a week Andy, surely you’ve found something?”

“Regrettably, I have not my lady. You are certain the Hag called it a Zing-a-zang fruit?”

We all nod. He puffs exhaustively, sinking deeper into the cushioned chair.

“Honestly, it sounds like gnomish nonsense, but master Ilin says he’s certain he’s never heard or seen anything like it. I can’t find anything in the entire library about a Zing-a-zang fruit or anything matching its description. Honestly, your best lead seems to be the creature carrying it. If your description is correct it was most likely a darkling. A fey, usually from the fay lands or possibly the shadowfell. It could be from their realm. After exhausting the library, I even ventured down to the gardens to ask a sprite. Of course it kept talking in verse, it’s all very exhausting. The most I could make of it is that they have many things that glow green in the dark.”

“Sounds like a dead end.”

Leaning forwards he begins massaging his temples, “Sometimes, perhaps, it’s better not to know.”

Quiet. We sit in it, all in our own dark thoughts as we watch the candles burn slowly down. The growing shadows merge with dark circles, deepening the sinking pools that are his eyes.

“If your need for answers are particularly dire, the most likely path to yield answers is, regrettably, to find another hag and ask her. It’s said they have access to secrets the rest of us only dream of … in our nightmares. Of course I wouldn’t recommend this coarse of inquiry, particularly not if the Bheur Hag was so keen to acquire it.”

“Thank you Andy, we will let you know if we learn anything more.”

“If you would like, you may leave it hear for safe keeping. I can perhaps learn more by studying the specimen directly.”

“NO. It stays with me.”

…

“Hehehe. At last, you have come to the right place. Yes, I can help. Show it to me.”

You don’t want to bring it out, but something in her illuminated green eyes compels you to listen. She slowly moves closer, staring down her long crooked nose at the glowing green fruit inside the decorated glass tube; her visage both horrifying and intriguing.

“Hehehehe. Yes, few have heard of the zinga-zang fruit of a zip-zap tree. But I have.” A twisted smile grows as she breaths deeply the hot thick air of the cave, then she almost whispers, “I have heard of greedy Grendal the dark Green.”

She glides over and gently strokes the warm glass. Her scaly finger brushes yours, so very like the snakes in Svanber‘s tomb. A shiver runs over your body as you pull back, hugging it close. Jim moves between you and her, and you fall back. Amy catches you. Turning you around, she stares into your eyes, making sure the spell is broken.

“Back off ya hag. We have the Bheur staff ya wanted.” He pulls it out, waving it around with his off hand.” Just tell us what it is, so we can give ya the stick n go.”

“Hehehehe. Yes, the graystaff. But perhaps it would be better if I took the Zinga-zang off your hands. With greedy Grendal hunting them all it can be quite dangerous for you … No?”

“Is that all ye know? Hardly worth this twig.” And Jim begins walking towards the cooking fire beneath the massive cauldron.

“Hehehehe. Yes, the zip-zap trees from the plane of shadows.” She follows Jim, reaching to rest her hand on his shoulder. He jumps backwards like her hand really is one of the snake from the tomb, nearly tripping on a high stool. “it is said,” she continues, “that the light of a zip-zap tree is strong enough to halt the shadows and their corruption. It is said that those tainted by their communion with the shadows cannot even bare to stand beneath its branches which grow like lightning out of the ground striking up at the sky. But they also say it’s fruit, the Zinga-Zang, can infuse you “,she stares intently at you, your eyes locked, “with the power to strike out like lightning. But of course, they were all destroyed by Greedy Grendal the Dark Green, all but one. My sisters and I will gain many favors when we give it to him.”

“Hehehehe!”

“Hehehehe!”

“HEHEHEHE!!!”